A friend of mine sent an Ole and Lena joke that fits with the theme of nakedness. A woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in Minneapolis, Minnesota. The taxi driver, Ole, who happened to be an old Norwegian man, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no attempt to start the cab. She said to him, "What's wrong with you, honey? Haven't you seen a naked woman before?" . . . Ole said, "I'm not staring at you, lady, I am telling you, dat vould not be proper vair I come from." . . . She said, "Well, if you're not staring at my body, sweetie, what are you doing then?" . . . Ole replied, "Vell, I am looking and I'm looking, and I am tinking to myself, vair in da heck is dis lady keeping da money to pay for dis ride?"
. . . . . .
The same friend sent some groaners - How does Moses make his tea? He brews it. . . I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. . . I didn't like my beard at first, then it grew on me. . . Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils? . . . When you get a bladder infection urine trouble. . . England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool. . . Velcro, what a rip-off. . . Venison for dinner again? Oh, deer.
. . . . . .
It should be obvious nothing much is going on in my world. I just keep on reading, writing, and teasing the wife. The darn grass started growing, so I'll have to start up a lawn mower pretty soon. That reminds me of the poem I wrote:
It was time to mow the grass.
Gallon and a half of gas
cost me over six green bills,
think I'll put goats on these hills,
milk the nannies, make cheese
and smell that odor on the breeze.
Spurge spreads in pastures and everything,
so when the goats beget offspring,
I'll rent 'em to the highest bid
so they can eat and get rid
of that grass chokin' weed.
Hope I don't create a stampede
of goat-hungry folks to my door
asking, "When will you get more?"
I'll set up and register a brand,
operate with supply and demand,
sit back, and salivate with greed
since I've created such a need
that the money would start rollin' in.
Now here's where the dream will end.
Wife'll say, "We've got cash, mow again!"
It was time to mow the grass.
Gallon and a half of gas
cost me over six green bills,
think I'll put goats on these hills,
milk the nannies, make cheese
and smell that odor on the breeze.
Spurge spreads in pastures and everything,
so when the goats beget offspring,
I'll rent 'em to the highest bid
so they can eat and get rid
of that grass chokin' weed.
Hope I don't create a stampede
of goat-hungry folks to my door
asking, "When will you get more?"
I'll set up and register a brand,
operate with supply and demand,
sit back, and salivate with greed
since I've created such a need
that the money would start rollin' in.
Now here's where the dream will end.
Wife'll say, "We've got cash, mow again!"
