Well, I had to go do it, shopping on Black Friday, that is. I was not, however, one of those to go wait in line for the 4 a.m. opening. We got to the mall around 8 a.m. and as the morning progressed we were joined by more and more people. I lamented a bit about not going to the gym instead, but after I finished ducking, sucking in my gut, doing pirouettes, stopping short for those who did the same in front of me, listening in on nearby cell phone calls, and on and on, I'd had enough exercise. To start the morning out I was very polite and said "Excuse me" each time I ran into someone or got banged by a woman's purse when she turned sharply. Mary told me it was time to go home after I told her that I'm going to stop being polite and start saying, "Get the hell out of my way," or "Watch where you're going, Lady" or some other more graphic expletives. Mary knows me pretty well by now so I had to agree.
We lucked out with finding a good parking spot since we happened on someone just backing out. I made a couple of trips taking things out to the car and felt a certain diabolical pleasure in teasing other cars who thought I might just be leaving. I'd open my trunk and they'd sit waiting for me to get in and drive away. Then I'd casually close the trunk, open the car door as if to get in, and then change my mind and walk back into the mall. I haven't quite gotten into the Christmas spirit yet.
To top the morning off, I thought about buying an item for a gift that was a "Door-Buster Special," but I held off because I wanted to ask Mary if I should. After finding her she agreed with me and we returned to buy the item only to see two store clerks cleaning out the basket because the time had come and gone for this special pricing. Merry Christmas
