I find a world of wisdom in bumper stickers. For example here we are in the growing season with lots of moisture and the grass needs more than its fair share of attention. This sticker could well be my motto: “I fought the lawn and lawn won.” One that applies to me as well as almost everyone I’ve ever known cautions us to “never miss a good chance to shut up.” If my better angel had been sitting on my shoulder to remind me of this countless times, I would have appreciated it. Alas, where was he?
Money is a popular topic on bumper stickers. A few of them are - “Money talks, but all mine ever says is good-bye!” “Money wouldn’t be so important if everybody didn’t want some.” “If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?”
This one especially hits the mark at my house. “Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone.” My wife tells me I am afflicted with this ailment, so I have tried the sticky butterfly thingies on the outside of my nose as well as the oval inserts you stick up your nostrils, neither of which seems to work very well. I always can tell when there has been a problem in the night when I wander into the living room in the morning and find a rumpled quilt on the couch.
I love this one. “More hay, Trigger? No, thanks, Roy, I’m stuffed.” Does that one might make you think a bit? Speaking of the dead, these work for me - “I intend to live forever. So far, so good.” and “Never knock on Death’s door. Ring the bell and run, he hates that!”
I know this stuff is silly, but what the heck. Here are a couple that remind me of me - “Whenever I think of the past it brings back so many memories,” and “My life is based on a true story.”
The one I have found to be the most profound deals with physics (I think, something to do with every action having an equal and opposite reaction) - “What would happen if the whole world farted at once?”
Good-bye!
