I find a world of wisdom in bumper stickers. For example here we are in the growing season with lots of moisture and the grass needs more than its fair share of attention. This sticker could well be my motto: “I fought the lawn and lawn won.” One that applies to me as well as almost everyone I’ve ever known cautions us to “never miss a good chance to shut up.” If my better angel had been sitting on my shoulder to remind me of this countless times, I would have appreciated it. Alas, where was he?
Money is a popular topic on bumper stickers. A few of them are - “Money talks, but all mine ever says is good-bye!” “Money wouldn’t be so important if everybody didn’t want some.” “If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?”
This one especially hits the mark at my house. “Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone.” My wife tells me I am afflicted with this ailment, so I have tried the sticky butterfly thingies on the outside of my nose as well as the oval inserts you stick up your nostrils, neither of which seems to work very well. I always can tell when there has been a problem in the night when I wander into the living room in the morning and find a rumpled quilt on the couch.
I love this one. “More hay, Trigger? No, thanks, Roy, I’m stuffed.” Does that one might make you think a bit? Speaking of the dead, these work for me - “I intend to live forever. So far, so good.” and “Never knock on Death’s door. Ring the bell and run, he hates that!”
I know this stuff is silly, but what the heck. Here are a couple that remind me of me - “Whenever I think of the past it brings back so many memories,” and “My life is based on a true story.”
The one I have found to be the most profound deals with physics (I think, something to do with every action having an equal and opposite reaction) - “What would happen if the whole world farted at once?”
Good-bye!
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Buzz Aldrin, etc.
We just marked the 40th anniversary of the moon landing. Some people just won’t accept facts as evidenced by those who say that walking on the moon was all a hoax, (a hoax akin to those who contend the earth is flat or that Obama is not a U. S citizen even though he was born in Hawaii of a mother who was a U. S. citizen.) I am convinced the moon landing really happened because if there had been some shenanigans taking place regarding its authenticity the just-elapsed forty year span would have exposed people with a guilty conscience who would have taken the opportunity to write a book and make some money from the supposed scam. One of the astronauts, Buzz Aldrin, has become my hero, because when confronted by a verbally abusive critic, he up and popped him. The guy tried to sue but the judge declared he had it coming. You can watch it happen. Go to Huffingtonpost.com and scroll down in "Most popular on Huffington Post" until it comes into view. The video is titled “Buzz Aldrin Punches Moon Landing Conspiracy Theorist in the Face.”
… … …
I worked in the hayfield again Monday morning even though the weather threatened to drive me out. A dark blue storm cloud slid around to the south but put on quite a show with all the sharp lightning it produced. It made me think back to another time when I was in a wheat field near Kiowa, Kansas. Cauliflower clouds had grown tall all that afternoon and when night came on and our combines still threshed away sharp lightning lit the sky and kept coming toward us. With lightning dancing all around we finally got scared enough to stop, shut the machines down, and dismount. That decision was not what the owner of the field thought should occur. He came roaring up in his pickup and swore up and down that we should keep those machines going. He was more than likely afraid of hail wiping out the nice crop and our safety was not particularly high on his list, an attitude I found to exist among certain other farmers down there. Luckily he backed off and we did not combine anymore that evening.
Reminded of old combining stories, there is another that comes to mind. I was atop a machine running in road gear for several miles down some highway in Nebraska, it was cold and drizzly, and, with no cab, I drove all hunched up. The highway was a bit narrow, and I guess I was weaving across the center line a bit, but I didn’t think much. A man and woman in a car passed me; I remember seeing grocery bags in the back seat but thought little else of it, except when he passed and pulled over to the side of the road which blocked me from going further. He got out and proceeded to holler and scream at me about keeping “that goddamn thing on my side of the road!” He kept at it, and I was not going to take any more of it and took the machine out of gear, locked the brakes, and started getting out of my seat to confront him. He saw my reaction and screamed, “If you don’t know it, I’m the sheriff of this goddamn county!” Just then the boss of the outfit pulled up in his pickup and everything settled down. I may just have punched him out, but unlike Buzz Aldrin, I don’t think the judge would have sided with me to tell the sheriff he had it coming.
… … …
I worked in the hayfield again Monday morning even though the weather threatened to drive me out. A dark blue storm cloud slid around to the south but put on quite a show with all the sharp lightning it produced. It made me think back to another time when I was in a wheat field near Kiowa, Kansas. Cauliflower clouds had grown tall all that afternoon and when night came on and our combines still threshed away sharp lightning lit the sky and kept coming toward us. With lightning dancing all around we finally got scared enough to stop, shut the machines down, and dismount. That decision was not what the owner of the field thought should occur. He came roaring up in his pickup and swore up and down that we should keep those machines going. He was more than likely afraid of hail wiping out the nice crop and our safety was not particularly high on his list, an attitude I found to exist among certain other farmers down there. Luckily he backed off and we did not combine anymore that evening.
Reminded of old combining stories, there is another that comes to mind. I was atop a machine running in road gear for several miles down some highway in Nebraska, it was cold and drizzly, and, with no cab, I drove all hunched up. The highway was a bit narrow, and I guess I was weaving across the center line a bit, but I didn’t think much. A man and woman in a car passed me; I remember seeing grocery bags in the back seat but thought little else of it, except when he passed and pulled over to the side of the road which blocked me from going further. He got out and proceeded to holler and scream at me about keeping “that goddamn thing on my side of the road!” He kept at it, and I was not going to take any more of it and took the machine out of gear, locked the brakes, and started getting out of my seat to confront him. He saw my reaction and screamed, “If you don’t know it, I’m the sheriff of this goddamn county!” Just then the boss of the outfit pulled up in his pickup and everything settled down. I may just have punched him out, but unlike Buzz Aldrin, I don’t think the judge would have sided with me to tell the sheriff he had it coming.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
...What we choose to recall
Merle Haggard sings a line “… everything does change, except what we choose to recall.” I heard it again this morning, and for some reason I have been running it through my head a bit today. When I attended graduate school I ran with a great group of guys who had lots of fun together. We hung out after hours at a joint called The Driftwood and enjoyed a carefree life. Since that time, however, I’ve only seen two of the guys one time each and neither was the same fellow I knew back then. I wonder if the Driftwood still stands to dispense the fun and drink. Probably not. It was in Greeley, CO, a town which has seen lots of growth since 1969. The way things sometimes go it was probably leveled to make room for a shopping mall.
A picture of Sheldon’s main street, taken about 1900, hangs on my study’s wall which shows at least two city blocks solid with store fronts with standing horse teams and buggies tied in front of them. I don’t have that particular memory, but the one I do have differs greatly from the reality of today’s main street. Only a few buildings still stand, and I have heard several of them are going to be taken down because of their vacancy and state of disrepair. A couple of years ago the old city hall and Newton’s cream station and feed store met with demolition. Each time I drive down that street I still picture how it used to look.
In any small town drive around a bit and then make your way out to the community cemetery. It’s usually the only that’s growing. Farms grew larger, families shrunk in numbers, the kids went off to the bigger towns for employment. I guess it is only the memory we choose to recall that stays the same.
…
A Swede enters the bar in the town where he stopped for the night. He grabs a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a Norwegian joke?
The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair — given that you are new here — you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a Norwegian.
2. The bouncer is a Norwegian.
3. I'm Norwegian and a professional weightlifter.
4. The woman sitting next to me is Norwegian with a black belt in karate.
5. The man to your right is a Norwegian and a professional wrestler.
Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke? The Swede thinks about it for a second, shakes his head, and declares: "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
A picture of Sheldon’s main street, taken about 1900, hangs on my study’s wall which shows at least two city blocks solid with store fronts with standing horse teams and buggies tied in front of them. I don’t have that particular memory, but the one I do have differs greatly from the reality of today’s main street. Only a few buildings still stand, and I have heard several of them are going to be taken down because of their vacancy and state of disrepair. A couple of years ago the old city hall and Newton’s cream station and feed store met with demolition. Each time I drive down that street I still picture how it used to look.
In any small town drive around a bit and then make your way out to the community cemetery. It’s usually the only that’s growing. Farms grew larger, families shrunk in numbers, the kids went off to the bigger towns for employment. I guess it is only the memory we choose to recall that stays the same.
…
A Swede enters the bar in the town where he stopped for the night. He grabs a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a Norwegian joke?
The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair — given that you are new here — you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a Norwegian.
2. The bouncer is a Norwegian.
3. I'm Norwegian and a professional weightlifter.
4. The woman sitting next to me is Norwegian with a black belt in karate.
5. The man to your right is a Norwegian and a professional wrestler.
Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke? The Swede thinks about it for a second, shakes his head, and declares: "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
July 4th Considered
Another July 4th has come and gone. I really believe that with each year I reflect a bit more on why we celebrate that day. Reminded of a recent book by David McCullough entitled 1776 when a local columnist in our daily paper made mention of it, and with lots of spare time that day I drove over to Barnes and Noble and bought a copy. McCullough proves himself a very readable historian; I think any history researched and written by him is worthwhile reading. I haven’t finished reading the book yet, but it gives a clear picture of the political and military workings of the period.
An event in England surprised me completely when I read that the House of Lords and the House of Commons did not, in their debate, wholly support King George III by voting for military action in the colonies. Approximately 1/3 of the members in each body voted nay, but with their country’s rule of law the majority prevailed and the war commenced.
In the colonies complicated feelings for or against freedom from England did not encourage simple actions in the colonies, but, driven by strong leadership, we all know the final outcome was independence and freedom from domination.
History and biography always take priority in my reading, and I’ve just finished a volume that illustrates the length that people go to protect freedom. The book - World War II on the Air, Edward R. Murrow and the Broadcasts that Riveted a Nation - tells of the CBS newsmen led by Murrow who invented on the spot reporting in the European war zones. Because of these men the world received news of Hitler’s armies and his attempts to dominate the world. The book and its companion CD of actual wartime recordings made by the reporters clearly draws the picture of the struggle and the lengths that the Allies went to to defeat the menace.
A quotation by Murrow stood out prominently, “Europe has no doubt that America is mighty in battle. Our nation, which was created by people who wanted to leave Europe, is the center of the hopes and some of the fears of millions who are in Europe today.”
An event in England surprised me completely when I read that the House of Lords and the House of Commons did not, in their debate, wholly support King George III by voting for military action in the colonies. Approximately 1/3 of the members in each body voted nay, but with their country’s rule of law the majority prevailed and the war commenced.
In the colonies complicated feelings for or against freedom from England did not encourage simple actions in the colonies, but, driven by strong leadership, we all know the final outcome was independence and freedom from domination.
History and biography always take priority in my reading, and I’ve just finished a volume that illustrates the length that people go to protect freedom. The book - World War II on the Air, Edward R. Murrow and the Broadcasts that Riveted a Nation - tells of the CBS newsmen led by Murrow who invented on the spot reporting in the European war zones. Because of these men the world received news of Hitler’s armies and his attempts to dominate the world. The book and its companion CD of actual wartime recordings made by the reporters clearly draws the picture of the struggle and the lengths that the Allies went to to defeat the menace.
A quotation by Murrow stood out prominently, “Europe has no doubt that America is mighty in battle. Our nation, which was created by people who wanted to leave Europe, is the center of the hopes and some of the fears of millions who are in Europe today.”
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